Inspiration comes from the strangest places (and learning to accept praise)

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Have you ever been struck by inspiration from something unusual? Like a song, or a movie, or even possibly from something a child said?

Recently, I was flipping channels on the TV while I was eating lunch. Most of the time, I watch something newsy or educational if I want to watch TV during lunch. But on this particular day, I saw that Pretty Woman was on and, well, I kind of hate to admit it, but I love Pretty Woman. (Hey, don’t judge me!) It was about 30 minutes in or so and I watched while I ate.

There’s a scene in the movie where Julia Roberts and Richard Gere are lying in bed facing each other talking about what brought her out to California. It’s kind of a sweet scene and a bit sad too. He tells her how special she is and she responds “The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?” This got me thinking about life and how true this statement is for a lot of people, a lot of the time.

Why is it that the bad stuff is easier to believe?

Does this feel true for you? If someone gives you praise or compliments you, do you accept the compliment and believe it to be true? Or do you wave it away, physically or emotionally – or both, and choose to not believe it?

When we are young, we hear lots of praise – some warranted and some just frivolous. I remember saying to my beautiful baby girl, “What a good burp!” or something equally silly. But we all do it. We even do it to our pets sometimes.

We’re praised as children for tying our shoes, for learning to say new words, for being cute, for doing funny things – like taking our diapers off and putting them on the dog. You get the drift.

But the early praise is important. It begins to build our confidence that we can do things we didn’t know we could do. It allows children to learn who they are and what they might be good at. It’s necessary. And as long as it’s truthful and sincere, it goes a long way to foster the desire to be the best we can be.

On the flip side, we also have structure and consequences at a young age – at least we should. This also allows children and adolescents to learn that not every action or behavior is praise-worthy and that there are things that shouldn’t be done or said.

The point is that we are praised, complimented, and admired as children and we have no reason to doubt the praise and compliments. (Unless they are sarcastic or given out of malice or by people who are being unkind.)

However, as we get older, we begin to shy away from and disbelieve praise, compliments, or when someone admires us. We begin to push away the good and believe the negative. I’m not sure why this happens. Maybe it’s the jealousy shown by others when we are praised – even siblings can do this.

I’m sure when I was growing up, I laughed at one of my sisters when someone said something kind. “You have a beautiful singing voice.” Siblings snicker. Or they get good grades or even make the honor roll and we joke “You’re so stupid, how did you ever pass your classes?” Laughter ensues.

Friends also tend to either down-play or make fun of each other when someone is successful. I’m not saying that this happens all the time, or even frequently, but enough that we begin to shy away from being seen as good at anything or being successful for fear that others will think we are bragging or being conceited.

What do you hide from? What gifts or strengths are you afraid to share with others because someone might tell you how wonderful your idea, your song, your photograph, your gift is? And you just won’t believe it.

Let’s all learn to accept the compliment, the praise and be grateful for it. One of the areas that I constantly struggle with is accepting that someone might actually appreciate something I say or do. But I’m learning. Just like many other areas in my life, it’s a work in progress.

Being grateful for someone’s appreciation is good for your health. It’s good for your confidence. The better we feel about ourselves, the better we care for ourselves.

“Absolutely everything is progress.” – Danielle LaPorte

Challenge yourself during this month of thanksgiving and gratitude to accept the praise and compliments offered to you. Don’t waive it away. Say thank you. And really let the praise sink in.