Don’t beat yourself up for wanting more

Most people want to be more–more organized, more active, more productive.

Or we want to be better at something – eat better, run better, better with our finances, better partners, better parents or friends or better children to our aging parent. It seems that everyone is always looking for ways to improve themselves. “I want to lose weight, eat better, and exercise more.” “I want to have a house with no clutter.” It seems that there is no end to the self-improvement craze.

There are shows about living a minimalist lifestyle, or Marie Kondo’ing the heck out of our lives. Not many are immune to this way of thinking. Most of us try a new diet, a new planner to stay organized, a new app to help us meditate, or a new budget to stay on top of our finances. We might even have success for a period of time. And then we go back to our old ways – of eating, spending money, or piling stuff on our desks.

There are some people who don’t have to try to be better or more, they have these skills in abundance–and to those of you who do, I applaud you. Yes, maybe a bit sarcastically I’m applauding you, but still applauding. My husband is one of those people–he gets more done in a day than most people accomplish all week. Drives me nuts. He doesn’t understand that most of us feel extreme pride when we remember to make the doctor’s appointment, send a check to school for the music lesson, put gas in the car, get through the day without losing our keys, or finish one of the 20 books we’ve started reading at the same time.

But most people, like myself, have an addiction to finding ways of being better at nearly every area of my life – finally getting organized, losing 20 pounds, cooking homemade pasta, or some other type of self-improvement. My addiction is life-long. I have over 50 books about diet and exercise alone. There are books about meditation, better brain function, how to be organized, de-clutter your life, be a better parent, be a better Catholic, find yourself, write down your soul, become a travel writer, write a novel, heal your brain, heal your inner child, help your children learn better–it’s never ending. I’m addicted to books and to learning. There I said it.

I’m not supposed to buy any more books or bring any more books into the house. I sneak them in–or buy Audible books or Kindle books so they aren’t visible. I have over 30 books that I’ve started then I get distracted by another book that can either help me in some way, help a client, or looks fun and I start another.

I love planners too-still trying to find the one that will magically make my life organized. And don’t get me started on the number of programs and courses and classes I’ve signed up for or bought to learn something “I’ve always wanted to learn…” (fill in the blank here–speak Italian, write that novel, learn to cook something fancy, set up my business, be a better coach, etc.) and then move onto the next must-learn! I’m learning to accept and love these things about myself–finally, after 55 years!

It’s one of my things-learn something new, then use it to help others who might be going through something similar. That’s why I became a health coach and enrolled in The Institute for Functional Nutrition, and have taken every course related to health, wellness, coaching, and transformational coaching I can get my hands on – to help not only myself, but as many other people as possible.

Now I’m learning to celebrate the wins more often than the failures. For a year I’ve been trying to get back to what I weighed the year I turned 50. But now, five years later and into menopause, it’s getting harder and harder to lose weight where it used to be so much easier. So, I’m celebrating the other wins–I’ve got little biceps where I didn’t a year ago. My thigh muscles are stronger, my jeans are baggy in the butt, and I can see the beginnings of ab muscles. I got into a pair of pants I couldn’t wear last year. And I’ve been following an eating plan that helps reduce my inflammation so I’m not in pain all the time!

And that ‘To-do’ list – when I have a day where I get it all done? I deserve a frickin’ medal! It feels like I’ve solved the problems of the world and I should be rewarded. Well, at least I deserve a glass of wine…